Coaching

Feeling stuck? You’re not alone.

Many of the people that I’ve worked with over the years have shared similar stories of experiencing deep and overwhelming shame when it came to their finances. They didn’t always come from the same cultural background, socioeconomic status, or level of education. With my training as a mental health counselor and my training as a financial counselor, even I hadn’t realized where these two worlds intersected or what exactly they had to do with each other or with shame. In my ongoing educational pursuits, I have been introduced to new ideas that helped me understand shame through a different lens, a systemic lens, that has profoundly impacted how I approach my own process and my work as a financial coach.

What is systemic shame?

Systemic shame refers to shame that is deeply embedded within social, cultural, and economic systems, rather than just being an individual experience. It arises when institutions, societal norms, or historical injustices create environments where people feel inherently unworthy, powerless, or excluded. Examples include financial shame due to systemic inequality, stigma around mental health, or the pressure to meet unrealistic societal standards. Unlike personal shame, systemic shame is reinforced collectively, making it harder to recognize and challenge.

The effects of systemic shame

Systemic shame can have deep and lasting effects on individuals and communities. Do any of these sound familiar to you?

• Low Self-Worth – Internalizing messages of inadequacy from societal norms.
• Financial Avoidance – Fear or anxiety around money due to systemic inequality.
• Perfectionism & Overworking – Feeling the need to constantly prove worth.
• Imposter Syndrome – Doubting one’s achievements despite evidence of success.
• Mental Health Struggles – Increased anxiety, depression, or isolation.
• Fear of Asking for Help – Viewing support as failure instead of a right.
• Disconnection from Community – Shame leading to withdrawal or isolation.

The end of systemic shame

Systemic shame continues when it’s left unspoken and unaddressed. Silence and isolation allow these harmful societal narratives to persist, as individuals feel unable to discuss their struggles or seek support. This disconnection reinforces feelings of inadequacy, perpetuating the cycle of shame and discouraging collective action for change. Speaking out, sharing experiences, and connecting with others are essential to breaking this cycle and creating space for healing and transformation.

Where do we go from here?

Understanding and dismantling systemic shame is foundational to the way I approach my work. This does not mean that our conversations have to be steeped in it, but it does serve as a constant reminder for me that the struggles you are facing may be more a result of systemic issues rather than personal failures, as we are often led to believe. It’s always easier to blame the individual and almost impossible to hold “the system” accountable. Here’s to changing that.

To learn more about the practical side of my financial coaching approach, you can read my blog Am I Your Ideal Financial Coach?

If any of this is resonating with you, start your journey with a free Q&A call below.

*Please Note: Although I trained as a counselor and that will always inform the work that I do, I am here in the capacity of a financial coach. I hold an Accredited Financial Counselor® certification. I do not provide therapy services, financial planning services, legal, or tax services. It might make sense for you to work with additional professionals to meet all of your needs.